Yao's Page

EYE CANDY!!!!!!! (NOT)

HELLLOOOOOOO ALLLLLL FROM PRIVATE FIRST CLASS CANNIBAL---SPEAKING TO U LIVE FROM HANNIBAL LECTER'S MASTER BATHROOM!!!! hehhehhe well, i guess i should introduce myself to all you fine people who greivously suffer from a case of acute boredom and obvious lack of a life, apparently (ur at this site at MY link, aren't u??? dont u give me that look of denial). well, now that i've made u pleasantly uncomfortable, i am an ardent disciple of the admirable Hannibal Lecter and my life's ambition is to be a garbage man.Liking me better? here are pics of two of my longtime objects of admiration:

Aren't they lustfully desirable? Below is a story i wrote called "The Gourmatrix". I hope u all like it:

Many people think that Neo was a computer hacker before being unplugged from the Matrix. the fact is, Neo was actually a five star chef, working as a close associate of Wolfgang Puck (he was also Wolfgang's whore, but we won't get into that, will we?)He and Wolfgang jointly owned a restuarant that served the stranges type of veal that didnt exactly come from any type of animal....

So one day Neo's sitting there, spacing on the Nebuchadnezzar, when he thought, screw this, I'm bored. He darts his eyes to Trinity and Morpheus, obliviously slopping away at their slimy single celled protein crap that they called "food", and springs at them. Neo eats them both, the human race dies, the Wachowski brothers go broke, Elrond returns to Rivendell, Hugo Weaving gets a sex change(and HRT----HAIR replacement therapy, not HORMONE replacement therapy,although he COULD use a tad more testosterone), Carrie-Anne Moss eats a WHOLE apple pie, and Keanu Reeves is forced to make a "Bill and Ted" trilogy. The end.

HOPE U LIKED IT!! anyway, i have no earthly idea how to insert a pic, as Preethi will readily tell u (heheheheh) So here's a list of the barbies that we've created:


1.Radioactive Barbie-glows in the dark

2.Enron barbie-comes with her own pink paper shredder

3.Martha Stewart barbie- comes with a written indictment and tons of tupperware

4.Syphilis Skipper-you DONT wanna know what she comes with

5.Bulimia Barbie-feed her and Squeeze her!!u'll me amazed at what she does

6.Teenage pregnancy skipper--comes with a swollen belly and two very very angry parents

7.Susan Ahalt Skipper-just an unmolded lump of rubber and whale blubber--for purposes of realism

8.Krackhead Ken-comes with an ounce of a powdery white substance and parole documents--a hit with young boys of all ages!!

9.George w. Bush barbie: comes with two phrases: "NOO-CU-LAR" and "WHAT DOES AMBILAVENT MEAN"

10.Iraqi Foreign Minister Skipper: comes with the phrase "Michael Jackson has NEVER had plastic surgery", "Justin Timberlake is completely normal" and "I think Saddam Hussein is sexy"

11.Mr. Leber Ken: comes with a monotone voice, and a whole classroom full of Skippers to bore to death!

WARNING--RELIGIOUSLY OFFENSIVE CONTENT
Below is a web address to a site that calculates what level of hell you're going to. I'm going to level five. Just answer the questions truthfully. I know a lot of u may be offended, but whats the fun of having a website if u cant make it slightly R-rated? ehhehhehehhe (laughs evilly) Just copy and past the link!

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv

THATS ALL FOLKS! (thank god, says the poor soul who just read through all the crap i wrote)